DAY THIRTY ONE POST TWO

sometimes i get a bit mad at idiots online. for instance, this craigslist post:

Coffee Talk (Istanbul)
Date: 2011-11-12, 12:00PM EET
Reply to: figenbico@gmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
There is an expression in NY - Let's do coffee
This is usually a time for friends and acquaintances to meet up and talk about what is personal to them
Sometimes you just need to talk.
English based on your personal needs
More than speaking - the opportunity to express yourself
Your English speaking friend who is also willing to listen
Meeting for coffee or tea
50 TL per hour

Turkish New Yorker with holistic healing and communication background
Figen Bico
0531 835 1897

*A lending ear or general conversation on common solutions for common problems. If deeper issues arise, please note that we will have to discuss a more suitable approach for healing

My friend Rabia sent it, a bit confused about what it meant. Upon reading it, I grew angry. Most of the time, when I get angry, I end up getting companies to send me free things. I got a free flight in Europe once because BA lied about losing a veggie meal of mine. I got a *lot* of free Ben and Jerry's because a store in NY had messed up their ice cream and it was the first time I had eaten it in like 5 years because of the vegan thing and it was so sad and I was really upset. In the US, fine, rip off folks who at least speak English.

But this particular ad, for whatever reason, made me very annoyed. So, in retailiation, I posted my own ad. Everything contained within is true. I left out some of the more snarky responses to the other ad, if you can believe it:

Let's Do Coffee - a Listening Ear (Istanbul)
Tarih: 2011-11-22, 5:39PM EET
Yanıtla: serv-xtfbq-2715431940@craigslist.org [İlanlara yanıt verirken hata mesajı mı alıyorsunuz?]
Let's do coffee is a phrase that is common around the English speaking world and especially countries where coffee is frequently consumed. If people claim that it's a NY only phrase, they probably aren't from America, or are at least unwise enough not to unload upon. Signs that someone may only be good for a conversational class include leaving punctuation (periods) out at the end of sentences. If you read ads by other unlicensed, possibly non-ordained, non-doctorate holding individuals mentioning minds feeding off each other, please note that a mind feeding off the other feeding off of it (and so on) may be a sign of a neurotic individual.

I am an ordained minister and have two Bachelors of Arts and a doctorate. I don't have a holistic healing background, but I do read a lot of Psychology Today and my mom was forced to learn Reiki back in the day when nurses had to learn pseudo-sciences and I know a *lot* about energy healing. This interested started at an early age, when we used "light as a feather, stiff as a board" to magically lift individuals much heavier than us using only one or two fingers. I'm in a profession where I ethically must maintain client confidentiality.

Please note that such therapies such as Ayurki therapy have been developed by a single, unlicensed, non-practitioner. I have developed my own therapy, entitled "bitch, don't take no crap; get out of an effed up sitatuation; ain't no reason to worry about no thang; and you don't really need to be friends to everyone." It is supplemented by the "if you have problems, that's one thing; if you have clinical psychological issues, go to an actual doctor", which has thus far been completely successful.

I too can listen to you kvetch for an hour for money. To help subsidize my ministrial life, I ask for 40 TL per hour, plus one coffee.