DAY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO POST TWO

Last week or so, I started reading what was supposed to be the *most* amazing smut out there, 50 Shades of Grey.  This week, I've been forced to seriously grapple with the sunk costs fallacy as I've been struggling to maintain any interest to finish it. I love trash, like, seriously, love crap books, but this is just absolutely terrible.  I've passed most of examples I would ever want to give, but let me briefly describe the premise.  

22 year old beautiful liberal college student somehow falls in love with boring 27 year old billionaire ginger CEO who appears to have little to no personality, and whose every interaction with the 22 year old is tracked in the book, including a series of extremely long e-mail exchanges. The kick? He's into S&M! And she's an innocent! What fiery passions will this book raise?

Well, actually, for those who are used to reading books with character development or plot, almost none.  

Christian Grey’s iPod, this should be interesting. I scroll through the touch screen, and find the perfect song. I press play. I wouldn’t have figured him for a Britney fan. The club-mix, techno beat assaults us both, and Christian turns the volume down. Maybe it’s too early for this: Britney’s at her most sultry.
“Toxic, eh?” Christian grins.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I feign innocence.
He turns the music down a little more, and inside I am hugging myself. My inner goddess is standing on the podium awaiting her gold medal. He turned the music down. Victory!
“I didn’t put that song on my iPod,” he says casually, and puts his foot down so that I am thrown back into my seat as the car accelerates along the freeway.
What? He knows what he’s doing, the bastard. Who did? And I have to listen to Britney going on and on. Who… who?

Really, grams James? Really? Brittany Spears? I mean, it was cool when she went to Wikipedia, but I think we were all a little suspicious when the relatively well to do girl was described by you as lacking a laptop. DON'T WORRY THOUGH MASTER GREY TO THE RESCUE with a computer for her. and a blackberry so he can track her everywhere. and an Audi. heyyyyyyyyyyo! And she "isn't" into him for the money! MY INNER GODDESS IS REBELLING AT READING THIS PIECE OF CRAP BUT THERE ARE ONLY LIKE 30 PAGES LEFT OF THIS 350 PAGE BOOK. and then i resolved to do it again and within one page this
My inner goddess has back flipped off the podium and is doing cartwheels around the stadium.
FUCK YOUR INNER GODDESS. NO SANE GIRL THINKS OF HER INSIDES WITH THE TERMS INNER GODDESS. THE BITCHES I KNEW WHO DID THAT IN COLLEGE ARE ALL UNDER EMPLOYED LIVING IN THAILAND AND HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE FROM DOING TOO MUCH ACID OR WHATEVER.

in essence my book review can be summarized as follows:
don't believe the hype
this book is absolutely terrible
read some trashy historical romance instead, and if you're in instanbul trade with me
or best yet just read some real books
if anyone says anything about an inner goddess, do not proceed slowly, but rapidly, rapidly, find or construct a shiv if no nearby sharp or heavy blunt obejcts are available. use against said goddess.


I'm sure I'll find more to critique of grams James's book along the way. back to the grind!

Elena! Holy Fuck. The evil one has a name and its all-foreign sounding.


Yeah, fuck those Elenas. Granny James clearly has no idea what sorts of naming conventions there are in 'Murka.  Note also that the main character's name is Anastasia. I'd say it's more than likely that Granny James hasn't interacted much with those MEXICAN TYPE folks. Or is it the Greeks she hates? Regardless, I'm not really sure how an Anastasia can call an "Elena" all foreign sounding.

Actually I have a new idea for a blog post. Be right back.

IT KEEPS GOING! be sure to read post three, which has a helpful guide to ANASTASIA's goddesses.

“We aim to please, Miss Steele.” He smirks as we pull into the International House of Pancakes.
“IHOP.” I grin back at him. I don’t believe it. Who would have thought… Christian Grey at IHOP.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND OTHER THAN JOKING REFERRING TO GOING TO INTERNATIONAL FOOD EVER CALLS IHOP INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES. s

that's it. i cannot finish this drivel. this is a shoutout to one of the two people who i know who've managed to finish the book to complete the book review.